as much as i love having a minimal wardrobe and shopping with intention, sometimes you just need to buy a dress that makes you want to prance through a field and pick flowers.
that’s all there is to it for this post. i don’t know about everyone else, but sometimes in the midst of feminism, i feel like it’s not cool anymore to look soft or delicate. but i love that style. and i just want to say that there is a space for ALL styles at the table. let’s not confuse being strong with not being soft because i think you can be both and be a boss woman all the same.
also, find friends that will take photos of you prancing through a little park field right next to a couple having a romantic easter picnic. those are the keepers.
i was at church the Sunday before Easter and the priest saying the homily literally punched me in the gut. (*okay, not literallyyyyy. my priest is the nicest man you could ever meet.) he advised us to think about something we struggle with. pride, humility, shame, anxiety, worrying, jealousy, vanity.
then he suggested we give up that emotion for Lent.
every year for Lent, i give up sweets. it’s just a thing i do because i told myself i needed a reminder in my day-to-day life and since i have a major sweet tooth, it definitely is a daily reminder.
this Lent, like usual, i tried to give up a million things and tack on a million more. even though i tried to keep it simple, it was still too much for 40 days and i could feel in my heart that i wasn’t really getting the fruit of this season because per usual, i wanted to do it all and have the BEST LENT EVER. #storyofmylife
so i really started to concentrate just on giving up fear. i broke the sweets thing a couple of times randomly. it was even in a vengeful spirit — i just literally felt so detached from that resolution. i already eat very minimal sugar so it just didn’t feel like i was doing much more. i have been giving up sweets for probably 8ish years and i have really never grown from Lent. that’s embarrassing to admit because i keep doing it every year but here we are. #keepingitreal
i started to work through giving up fear and focused on trusting in Him in all the hard areas where i don’t want to give up control (future spouse, future family, future kids, future career — can you tell a theme? 😉 ).
i realized in a (large) moment of humility, that for the past 22 Lenten seasons, i have been leaning on sweets as my crutch to have a “good Lent.”
but the crazy part was that then i started to see how this plays out all over my life. a great example is exercise and nutrition. i was leaning on small improvements (no sugar, less alcohol, more raw foods) to make me feel like i was making this huge shift towards treating my body better from the inside out. those aren’t even really changes from my normal life to be honest — i already eat that way after growing up with a foreign mom who didn’t understand the concept of doritos. 😉
what i really wanted to do was to exercise more. but that’s hard. like who has time or energy for that? not i. but once i started to get back into running and paying attention to the steps goal on my Fitbit, i really felt the progress i had wanted to feel all along.
wait let me clarify. not progress like “and she lost 249580 pounds overnight!”. i don’t care about that part. when i say progress, i mean that i had finally did THE hard thing that i had wanted to do all along. i stopped focusing on the food part because that was natural to me and really tackled my big fear, which was that i had lost my love of running altogether and i was scared to confront that. college ruined my perception of exercise and i was nervous that i wouldn’t ever crave it like i did in high school.
i am making this comparison because in Lent, giving up sweets was the equivalent to eating healthy. it wasn’t hard. i mean it was hard, because let’s be real i love ice cream, but i was leaning on it because i knew i could do it and it was something to check off my list. i would wake up Easter morning and eat sweets, proud that i got through 40 days without any sugar.
but you see, i had used sweets as my crutch. EVERY year, i also gave up more important things or tried a new positive change. but those fell wayside. because they were hard. and i knew that at least i could give up sweets and pat myself on the back 40 days later.
once this clicked, it was like all speed ahead. i leaned more and more into letting go of fear, reaching out to people and showing up as the most authentic version of me.
i wore a long pretty dress to mass instead of saving it for the “one day that i’ll need this dress and it’ll be perfect,” because i don’t want to wait for that day.
i shamelessly reconnected with friends, unafraid that they might judge me for not keeping in better touch throughout the years and the moves.
i shared more and more on instagram about my love for style and design, even though sometimes i feel awkward doing that when most of my followers are still my friends from school. i really have no idea what i am doing as a “lifestyle blogger + photographer” but i do know that i love it.
i just showed up as fearlessly as i could.
this part makes me emotional because it radically changes your life when you embrace it: what would happen if we, especially we as women, all acted in full trust in His goodness for our lives? if we all woke up everyday, choosing to see our life through God’s eyes, full of promise, hope and crazy big dreams that are so scary to think we, just your average gal, could achieve?
it’s easy to read this on some motivational poster and think “aw, that’s so true” but when you really, truly LIVE that way, it will change you. i am starting to feel this freedom i have never felt and i would say i have been, for the most part, a relatively confidant gal for most of my life. but now i just am giddy about life because i am no longer in a white knuckle grip of my life: i handed over the reigns to the One who knows me best.
God wants us to live, really live this bold, beautiful life he created for us. and how privileged we are to live in a society that lets us, for the most part, live the way we want. we have homes, food on the table, people that care about us and yet we continuously settle time and time again for the sand castles we make in the mud, convincing ourselves that we aren’t cool enough, thin enough, smart enough, talented enough, wealthy enough to do that, whatever that is for you.
well guess what: YOU ARE ENOUGH. you’re MORE than enough.
i call this way of living “terrifying & EXCITING” because it is. i talked in a mad rush about this whole idea to my best friend on the phone the other day as i paced around target. i talked her through a recent situation where i had to really just trust His plan and do my part but really trust that He would show me the truth. but i also had to show up and be present.
i kept saying “it’s terrifying” and she kept respond “AND EXCITING”. “it’s terrifying”. “AND EXCITING”. and that’s just the gosh darn truth. giving up fear made me realize how terrifying and exciting life can be. i understand now what it means to be fearful of the Lord and His mighty power. He can do BIG things in our lives. and that’s terrifying. but it’s also exciting. cheers to lives of terrifying and exciting proportions.
** i can’t recommend enough trying this fast of fear! just give up fear for a month, a week, whatever! this is not advice to do stupid things (please don’t make me regret this). i just want you to be bold. email that girl you admire and ask to meet for coffee. tell that boy you have a fat crush on him. plant a garden. plan a trip. call a friend you lost touch with. go on a run. pray for something that just seems too good to be true. just be fearless. (cue taylor swift)
last weekend i visited kansas for the first time — and it was so lovely! i mean driving through kansas is nothing to speak of BUT kansas city? SO charming! i was really impressed!
we spent friday evening enjoying the weather and walking from thou mayest coffee shop to brewery emperial. basically we just followed the outdoor seating. all the way to First Fridays, which is a LOAD of food trucks and open art galleries. food and art and good friends? i mean, what could be better?!
we spent all day saturday exploring kansas city. we hit the river market, bought flowers, ate beignets, went to the original joe’s bbq (the fries, oh THE FRIES) and then shopped around the plaza area. that are honestly impressed me so much — it was very european and right on the river. i wish st. louis would develop our downtown to have something similar because it had such a community feel to it!
since i was visiting a good friend who goes to school in lawrence, i do have one recommendation for there since we got dinner on their main street on saturday night. we got dressed up and got apps & fancy drinks at a little restaurant there called 715. it is so cozy and romantic — and naturally we were three girls just giggling and having loads of fun treating ourselves and catching up. 🙂
we ordered the papas bravas and meatballs in marinara. DROOOL. it was amazing. i could’ve eaten those papas bravas everyday for forever. it was fun to eat a spanish food since one of the best days of living abroad was a day i spent with the girl i was visiting in barcelona with her dad. we ate papas bravas, drank wine and rode our bicycles from spot to spot. it was a dream and it made me nostalgic to be back with her, eating papas bravas.
it was such a good weekend. i honestly am still riding the high from it. i just get such a thrill off of seeing new places and taking photos of new things. not to mention, i was in amazing company and it was so special to me to travel with her again. although our trips abroad might have lawrence beat for scenery… 😉
enjoy the trip through my eyes!
next stop: new york! do you have any suggestions for me?! i am overwhelmed with everything i want to do in three days! what are the absolute must do’s?!
i am so excited about this post!!! i feel like my hair is truly different since using these products and tricks for the last 9ish months. err — my ‘do is different. 😉
we’re going to dive right in. after a tale…
when i was living in france, i got my hair trimmed by this super darling lady. the first time i went in, my hair was in a bun and was a gross mess. you know how it is when you go in to get it cut. who cares at that point, right? anyways, she told me this metaphor for hair that i always think about now: hair is like a plant. it needs water, sun and nutrients. that’s why our hair doesn’t grow as much in the winter – we eat worse, it’s cloudy and we aren’t playing in the pool or in the ocean. we also usually drink less water. if you treat your hair like it’s a living thing, which it kind of is, you’ll treat it differently.
so here we go.
i am going to run through my whole hair routine with you starting with…
lifestyle changes //
yes, LIFESTYLE changes. i have a couple of blog posts in the queue about how some of these changes have also helped my acne, energy and wacko + really painful periods, but hang tight for those!
drink water. drink literal gallons of water. no more “i drink a lot of water” and downing one nalgene and thinking you’re through. download the “my water” app, set a goal and meet it every single day. this has made an enormous difference in my eating habits, hair, skin and energy. i feel more clear headed and have almost no headaches. WATER. the first medicine of the people, as my dad would say. i also use these true lemon packets (naturally flavored – woohoo!) to help me get to my goal. just a nalgene, water and some flavor.
sleep more. this is obvious but the more/better you sleep, the better you will feel and the healthier your hair will be. bada bing bada boom.
relieve stress. this is a bit much to get into now in this post about hair but i definitely notice that i lose more hair (i used shed like a dog in college) when i am under stress and not taking care of myself. tips on that in a future post! it’s definitely going to affect your body in so many physical ways. in a VERY short version, getting physically active everyday, realizing that i can only change me and reading more has helped me manage anxiety. that’s about as brief as brief gets. 😉
shower less. i just mean wash your hair less. PLEASE BATHE. i wash my hair once or twice a week thanks to dry shampoo and caring less. seriously. when i lived in california this summer, i decided i was going to train my hair (that’s not a thing but also a thing) to be less greasy. so i washed my hair like once a week and just did lots of little braids and up do’s and changing my part. and the funny thing is that no one cares about your hair as much as you think they do unless it’s straight up dripping in grease. so just push yourself to shower less for a couple months and i PROMISE you’ll see a difference. this is coming from a girl who used to think she would have to shower everyday. success story right here. commit to it – so easy with summer around the corner and being able to pull off updo’s because of the heat.
eat raw. what you eat will affect your skin and hair. fact. i am living proof. my hair is stronger and grows more quickly since i stopped eating loads of sugary, empty carb foods and started having balanced meals, including proteins and greens, and eating more raw foods, less processed ones. these changes were a consequence of severe allergies but has also helped me realize how many times i was putting something in my mouth that i couldn’t even read the ingredients list. i have a rule that since i am reading the allergens list already, i have to make sure i know every ingredient. really can’t stress this nutrition bit enough!! i think it’s why when you see photos of girls who live in hawaii, their hair is so lush. there’s so much produce and they eat so well and their hair reflects that! and they take showers by swimming in the ocean so there’s another reason. just a little hypothesis of mine.
get frequent trims. just do it. i know it’s annoying money spent but the longer you wait in-between, the more they will have to cut off.
some random blow dryer that needs to be replaced (source: costco? kohls? france? who knows. not fancy is the bottom line. anyone have one they love?)
wash with the twin l’oreal clay conditioner*, wash body/stand there like i am in a fancy spa when i am not, rinse conditioner
*DO NOT IMMEDIATELY RINSE YOUR CONDITIONER. all caps because i am being very serious. it is essential that when you condition, you leave it in for a couple of minutes so do something else in the meantime! shave your legs, do a dance, belt out some tunes – you know the drill.
get out of the shower, GENTLY towel dry hair (i should really use an old t shirt instead – this is a good reminder for me!) and then the products begin…
first i put a dime-sized amount of this john frieda serum in my hair, starting by running it through the tips of my hair to heal those split ends with the majority of the product and then work my way up to my roots so that i have the least on my palms when i get to the part of my hair i see and touch the most. this is how i put any hair product in my hair and i never have that greasy, product-thick effect – works like a charm!
next up is the giovanni 2chic avocado and olive oil magic that i LOOOVE. it’s tiny in my photo because my mom got like 8274 samples of it so i am currently milking those but this is so worth the money. i work it through just like the above serum. note: a tiny bit goes a long way with this. giovanni anything is so so so good.
then there’s the aveda damage remedy which is PRAISE HANDS. my hair dresser recommended it to me and i was literally like no. not paying that money. and then she explained that by strengthening my hair, i could get it cut less (less money there) and it would grow faster (hallelujah there). i LOVE this product. it’s lightweight, my hair feels healthier and i have noticed that it doesn’t look as frayed and it’s been almost two months since my last trim. also, the bottle doesn’t even feel like i’ve used any because you use so little so it’ll probably last me … i am going to say 6 months? stay tuned on that.
i finish it off with a couple spritzes of the suave weightless blow dry spray. (yes, my hair is still wet. it’s a routine.) to be honest, i am not sure that this step even does anything but it also isn’t hurting so i am just going to use this bottle up and see if it did make such a difference. i’ll keep you posted on my IG stories if i repurchase it!
then i brush my hair, shake my head like a dog to get off the excess water and blow dry it if i want. i use my hot iron every so often to straighten it but i am trying more and more to pin it up in the classic ania braid updo that i invented this summer or attempting to curl it a bit. the slick straight look just isn’t really my vibe but my hair is also SUPER curly so i look approximately 5 years old if i don’t do anything. working on that situation. 😉
i also spray my hair with this biosilk shine on spray after blowing my hair out that my mom was addicted to this summer and then i stole and also became addicted to. oh. my. lanta. i have never used a product that claims to help your hair shine and it actually works. THIS STUFF DOES. my hair gets that glowy look that is usually ruined by blow drying and straightening thus making it look more natural and healthy. but it does not make it greasy. i have a back-up for this already because that’s how much i like it. and it smells SO GOOD. people used to stop me in retail and ask me what my perfume was but it was just this spray. such a good product.
after i blow dry it (if i don’t straighten it), i put it in a bun at the nape of my neck and fasten it there with a fancy neon orange scrunchie circa homecoming 2k10. #glam. that way, i don’t have a kink in some weird place on my head because of a top knot AND i encourage my tight curls to mimic the big curl of the bun, making it easier for me to curl later. or i’ll braid it loosely and pin it up! i used to immediately want to straighten the fro but i have found that if i give it time to naturally settle, i can apply less heat tools which is my goal!
oh, and if i need some hold for a style, i use my trusty nexxus comb thru finishing spray (medium hold). my roommate got me hooked on this stuff when i had to borrow hers. i LOVE nexxus shampoo and conditioner so i knew i’d love everything else they touch. and i do. it’s a great product and it’s going to last me months, i can tell already. it’s light, doesn’t make my hair stick or stiff and is just a really great hair spray. no complaints here.
then to make it last, i use my favorite ever dry shampoo by r + co – the death valley! as you know, i am trying to find a new, less expensive one so i’ll keep you posted on those results!
PHEW. that was long. if you were to take three things from that, i would…
remember that your hair will reflect the food and water you digest. be intentional! take your vitamins! eat some salmon! it’s a plant. 🙂
buy the john frieda and/or giovanni serum. my fav products. been using the john frieda one since high school.
take a couple months to be intentional about only washing your hair once/twice a week to give your hair a chance to reset.
i hope this helps anyone who is trying to make their hair healthy and long — especially with summer just around the corner! i am not a hair expert but between my mom, sister and i plus all of our wise hairdressers, we try a LOT of products. and i’ll keep you all in that fun loop! 🙂
last week i was invited to capture photos of sweet teresa guadalupe just a mere 24 hours after she was born. it was way more emotional for me than i was anticipating. i felt so honored and privileged to be among her family, basically as a stranger to most of them, to try to bottle up these first hours of her life in photos. it was a learning curve for me as i navigated a hospital room and it’s artificial light and i loved the challenge. also i love babies more than almost anything so it was a win-win. 🙂
the second i left, i sat in my car and just was so overwhelmed with the miracle of life. to be there in that intimate setting was so special to me and i hope i am able to do it again for another family.
here are my favorites from the shoot. i am so unbelievably happy for the new family of five as they start this new chapter with three babes. welcome to the world, teresa! you are so loved already.
i started a new series on IG stories this week. basically what will happen is this: i will ask for what your favorite ________ is. fill in the blank with whatever your heart dreams of knowing the champion of: dry shampoo, yogurt brand (noosa won that before it started), mattress company, mascara, swim suit store. then anyone and everyone can DM me on instagram with their favorites. a couple days later, i’ll compile them in a neat little post like this! this way EVERYONE benefits, i don’t have to try to do the impossible in trying to hunt down every single one and also we can be a tiny community helping each other through the hard stuff like which freaking deodorant to buy. ya know?
this week: dry shampoo. i splurged and bought the r + co death valley a couple months ago because i had heard SO much about it and just had to see for myself. IT’S AMAZING. it doesn’t turn your hair white (or any color for that matter) and i was able to go sometime FIVE DAYS to WORK with my hair loaded with THIS MAGIC SOLUTION. SO MANY CAPITAL LETTERS. also their packaging sings sweet things to my soul so that’s definitely in their favor.
the only problem? it’s a leeeeeetle pricey. but i pay like $8 for shampoo and conditioner at walgreens right now so i am honestly open to splurging again if i can’t find something i like as much. more on that $8 combo later this week…
so i took to you all to poll favs! these were the favorites and i am going to try a lot of new ones before slinking back to this golden dust i’ve been using because i would love to find something less expensive.
batiste dry shampoo: GREAT price point and recommended by all. so i bought it. trial 1. i hated it. HAHAH. i am the worst, you guys. but really – it turned my hair grayish/white and yes, absorbed the grease but I CAN’T AGE MYSELF 50 YEARS everytime i use dry shampoo. it’s headed back to target tomorrow and i am going to try….