i see you working hard.
i see you getting to the library early in the am as your roommates sleep off a night of drinks while you fell into bed the night before exhausted after class, work and meetings.
i see you pushing through the last mile of your run because you’re determined to be healthy, to live longer and better than those before you.
i see you teaching yourself new skills because you’re passionate about something no one around you knows anything about.
i see you questioning every starbucks you buy and every grocery receipt, wondering if you should’ve splurged on that fancy box of cereal.
i see you laying awake at night praying for your future spouse, your future children, your future.
i see you staying after class to ask just one more question, get one more review of your paper, learn one more way to solve the problem.
i see you letting yourself be a child in your awe of big christmas trees, shining lights and bright stars.
i see you saving money, getting the least expensive drink at the bar and hoping your friends remember to repay you for the uber.
i see you staying up late and waking up early, the first one to arrive at your final and the last one to leave.
i see you going to mass by yourself at lunch, surrounded by the elderly.
i see you choosing the longer of the two dresses for formal, not drinking so you can get your friends home safe, choosing to not go out at all because you’re nervous that you’re not “wild” enough for the night your friends have planned.
i see you relishing in a night at home, reading a good book and breathing in your new candle.
i see you trying new recipes, trying new running paths, just trying new things.
i see you choosing joy despite another dirty diaper, another afternoon of tears and self-doubt as a new mom.
most of all, i see you choosing all of this when no one at all is looking, especially not instagram.
i may not be able to really see you but i want you to know that there are people our age, the “millennials”, working hard, saving money, trying to be good christians in today’s world.
in this lens of social media, it’s easy to feel unknown even though we’re really as exposed as we’ve ever been. i remember thinking in college that i had to be the only one who stressed about money, relationships, my faith, today’s society, etc because NO ONE TALKS ABOUT THESE THINGS.
but what i realized this summer is that everyone is going through something rough, carrying their own cross, and we all should be kind to each other regardless of whether we know the weight of their cross or not.
it’s not up to someone to tell me their life story or convince me how rough they have it or prove it to me in every instagram post. i should be treating them with kindness before a word comes out of their mouth or proof of their hardship is in front of me.
so here i am. little ania laying in bed typing this because i want you to feel known and seen in this crazy world. there ARE other people working their booties off just like you, who have big dreams for themselves just like you, who feel self-doubt just like you, who choose joy just like you. but you have to know that they might not tell you, maybe not at first, but they’re trying too.
i don’t want you to feel alone in this blur of pretty instagram photos. every so often i want to pop in here and tell you i see you, you have worth just by being who you are and your hard work will pay off.
have courage and be kind.
wrote this quickly in place of a style post (coming at ya live wednesday!) because i just feel like this monday post needed a little more oomph.